Building authentic relationships and community

University can feel isolating, but there are many opportunities to build meaningful connections with people who share your interests and values.

Communication strategies that work for you

Rather than trying to fit into neurotypical communication styles, focus on developing your authentic communication while building skills for different contexts.

💡 Suggestion

Think about playing to your communication strengths:

Use your directness as an advantage in academic discussions

Ask the clarifying questions others might be thinking but not voicing

Contribute unique perspectives based on your experiences and interests

Be the person who remembers important details others might forget

Managing challenging situations

Research shows that communication difficulties between autistic and non-autistic people often go both ways – this is called the "double empathy problem." It's not that autistic people are bad at communicating; it's that autistic and non-autistic people have different communication styles that don't always match up well.

Understanding this can help you:

Recognise when communication breakdowns aren't your fault
Develop strategies for communicating with non-autistic staff and students
Find people who "get" your communication style
Advocate for your communication needs

Here are some tips for managing some situations that might come up during your studies.

In tutorials/classes…	With teaching staff…	In group work situations…
Prepare a few relevant comments or questions beforehand Use notes to organise your thoughts before speaking Know that it's okay to take time to think before responding Remember that not everyone needs to contribute to every discussion in every class Sometimes you will get questions and topics in advance – you can prepare for these, but sometimes the conversation will stray from the planned agenda	Email can be an excellent way to ask questions and get clarification Use consultation hours when you need more detailed explanations Be specific about the support that you need, referring to your learning access plan or functional capacity (see the section on ‘Self-advocacy’)	Suggest clear task division based on everyone's strengths Ask for written records of decisions and deadlines Communicate your preferred working style early in the process Use collaborative online tools that make communication more structured If others aren't contributing, reach out to teaching staff early and ask for support

In tutorials/classes…

With teaching staff…

In group work situations…

Prepare a few relevant comments or questions beforehand

Use notes to organise your thoughts before speaking

Know that it's okay to take time to think before responding

Remember that not everyone needs to contribute to every discussion in every class

Sometimes you will get questions and topics in advance – you can prepare for these, but sometimes the conversation will stray from the planned agenda

Email can be an excellent way to ask questions and get clarification

Use consultation hours when you need more detailed explanations

Be specific about the support that you need, referring to your learning access plan or functional capacity (see the section on ‘Self-advocacy’)

Suggest clear task division based on everyone's strengths

Ask for written records of decisions and deadlines

Communicate your preferred working style early in the process

Use collaborative online tools that make communication more structured

If others aren't contributing, reach out to teaching staff early and ask for support

Finding your academic community

University is about more than just classes – it's about finding your intellectual and social community!

💡 Suggestion

Look for people who share your passions. You can find them through:

Academic societies related to your field of study

Clubs focused on your special interests or hobbies

Research groups or labs where you can contribute to meaningful projects

Online communities related to your studies

Connecting with other neurodivergent students can also provide mutual understanding and support. Consider joining:

Neurodiversity or disability advocacy groups

Study groups specifically for students with different learning styles

Peer mentoring programs

Online forums and social media groups

Quality over quantity

A growing area of research establishes that autistic people often prefer fewer, deeper relationships rather than large social networks. Focus on building a few meaningful connections rather than trying to be social with everyone.

Working with lecturers and tutors

Building positive relationships with teaching staff can significantly enhance your university experience and academic outcomes.

🔎 Research Tip

Research with autistic students (Gibbs et al., 2024) found they particularly valued staff who:

Knew them individually beyond just their name

Were consistent in their teaching and expectations

Were respectful of the student-staff relationship

Understood different learning needs

Strategies for building these relationships

Attend consultation hours with teaching staff when you have genuine questions or need clarification
Though it is often hard to articulate exactly what you are struggling with, teaching staff will find it easier to support you if you are specific about what you're finding difficult with rather than saying you "don't understand"
Show appreciation for helpful explanations or support
Follow up on advice or suggestions they provide
Maintain professional boundaries while being authentic about your learning needs. Teaching staff may feel uncomfortable if you share extensive details about your personal life, as you may feel uncomfortable talking about them. Try to keep your conversations focused on your learning.