I find things are looking bright these days. I’ve finished my Social Work degree and have my mind set on one day working in social research. But it’s been a challenging and scary ride at times. I have suffered a long-term battle with depression. I’ve seen periods of extreme highs and severe lows, which has made it hard for me to find a balance in life. During university, I struggled with a lot of social barriers.
I had abysmal self-esteem, which would set off the anxiety. I suffered some paranoia and would over analyse interactions with people, thinking they were making fun of me or didn’t like me. Eventually I just isolated myself from any social setting that made me feel like that. I have experienced dark hours, some of which are due to the difficulty finding the right medication. One of the scarier periods fresh in my mind was just after graduation.
Leaving university and having to find work was stressful and frustrating, and I constantly questioned where I was heading. I had no purpose or self-esteem. I felt like I was stuck in a trench. I was disappointed in myself for not being able to cope with life’s challenges the way I expected I should. The longer I was unemployed, the deeper my depression, which eventually led to suicidal thoughts. I felt like I was plummeting fast and was scared about what I might do, so I took myself down to the mental health services to get professional help. This eventually led me to having a Job Capacity Assessment (JCA) to help determine the most appropriate employment assistance for me. Following the assessment, I was referred to CRS Australia for help.
It was here that I met my CRS Australia vocational rehabilitation consultant Helene, who worked with me to address my barriers to employment and set a goal to work towards. I participated in a vocational program to help me explore where my job interests lie. Having a job goal has given me direction and a focus, something I have lacked in the past. I am actively searching for suitable jobs and doing volunteer work, which is helpful to put some of the skills I’m learning with Helene into practice. CRS Australia has taught me how to focus and allowed me to find a purpose in life. I’m feeling as good as I’ve ever felt and I’m looking forward to what’s ahead.